simply sus

it is so unbelievably easy to be sucked into fear
it often paralyzes me
leaves me standing between alternatives
clueless
suspended

people keep telling me i’m infinitely stronger than i know
that i will figure it out
that good things happen to good people
opportunities will come
but i sit here unconvinced 

i read the same earmarked pages
messages i save for moments like these
and i think of the people i miss
 

sometimes the ‘missing’ becomes so tangible
it’s bizarre how strongly you feel them

and then you breathe and they’ve gone

—————————————————-

to a poet [first aid kit]

and you said ‘don’t give me nothing you don’t want to lose’
i said ‘darling, i’ll give you everything i’ve got if i want, i’m to choose’
then i got on a plane and flew far away from you
though unwillingly i left and it was so, so hard to do

the streets here at home have rapidly filled up with the whitest of snow
and they don’t make no excuse for themselves and there’s no need, i know

now i miss you more than i can take and i will surely break,
and every morning that i wake there is this ache,
but there’s nothing more to it, i just get through it

it always takes me by surprise how dark it gets this time of year
and how apparent it all becomes that you’re not close, not even near
but no matter how many times i tell myself i have to be sincere
i have a hard time standing up and facing those fears

but frank put it best when he said ‘you can’t plan on the heart’
those words keep me on my feet when i think i might just fall apart

now i miss you more than i can take and i will surely break,
and every morning that i wake there is this ache,
but there’s nothing more to it, i just get through it
there’s nothing more to it, i just get through it

and so i ask, where are you now just when i needed you
i won’t ask again because i know there’s nothing we can do
not now, darling, you know it’s true 

————————————————-

we just carry them with us,
tucked inside somewhere deep within
until memories call them home